Why can't I just shake it off?
“Why can’t I just shake it off?”
“Why did I let it get to me?”
“I should be able to just let it go.”
“Other people would just take it in their stride. I’m just too sensitive.”
Have you ever spoken to yourself along these lines? If so, you’re not alone.
This very specific type of self-critical voice comes from our early experiences of not being emotionally supported in stressful or upsetting situations.
As human beings, we ARE impacted by things around us – we aren’t meant to walk around as unfeeling zombies!
But when, as children, we didn’t get any help with our big feelings, it felt overwhelming and it felt like the only option to not experience this unbearable state would be to not feel.
We began to long to not feel. And in time, this became reinforced by other’s comments:
“Don’t be so sensitive!”
Usually, the people who told us that were our parents or caregivers who, through their own personal history (and early relational trauma), found it very difficult to be around emotions.
And so the cycle repeats.
But there is another way.
In therapy, you can learn to accept and be with your feelings and to not dismiss them as ‘something bad.’
Having our feelings validated and understood can be a very powerful experience.
You come realise that the problem isn’t YOU. As a child, you just reacted with normal, human emotions to whatever was going on around you.
And that can feel very scary when we don’t know how to regulate our emotions.
Therapy is a place to gradually allow all your feelings to be seen and felt.
They become a part of your wonderful self-expression. And when you know how to regulate your feelings so that you can come back to a sense of calm, you don’t need to be afraid of them.
And you no longer need to berate yourself.
If you would like to explore if therapy could be for you at this time, please DM me to book a free 15 minute introductory call.
About me
I am Rooshi ,a clinical psychologist, transformation coach and energy healer with 25 years of experience in helping people come out of mental and physical health concerns ,be happy and thrive in life
“Why did I let it get to me?”
“I should be able to just let it go.”
“Other people would just take it in their stride. I’m just too sensitive.”
Have you ever spoken to yourself along these lines? If so, you’re not alone.
This very specific type of self-critical voice comes from our early experiences of not being emotionally supported in stressful or upsetting situations.
As human beings, we ARE impacted by things around us – we aren’t meant to walk around as unfeeling zombies!
But when, as children, we didn’t get any help with our big feelings, it felt overwhelming and it felt like the only option to not experience this unbearable state would be to not feel.
We began to long to not feel. And in time, this became reinforced by other’s comments:
“Don’t be so sensitive!”
Usually, the people who told us that were our parents or caregivers who, through their own personal history (and early relational trauma), found it very difficult to be around emotions.
And so the cycle repeats.
But there is another way.
In therapy, you can learn to accept and be with your feelings and to not dismiss them as ‘something bad.’
Having our feelings validated and understood can be a very powerful experience.
You come realise that the problem isn’t YOU. As a child, you just reacted with normal, human emotions to whatever was going on around you.
And that can feel very scary when we don’t know how to regulate our emotions.
Therapy is a place to gradually allow all your feelings to be seen and felt.
They become a part of your wonderful self-expression. And when you know how to regulate your feelings so that you can come back to a sense of calm, you don’t need to be afraid of them.
And you no longer need to berate yourself.
If you would like to explore if therapy could be for you at this time, please DM me to book a free 15 minute introductory call.
About me
I am Rooshi ,a clinical psychologist, transformation coach and energy healer with 25 years of experience in helping people come out of mental and physical health concerns ,be happy and thrive in life